I’d rather be too much.

I’D RATHER BE TOO MUCH THAN NOT ENOUGH

I remember in sixth grade that my Mom was called in by my English teacher to talk about her problem child, me! She described me as being arrogant and just “too much”. I always loved to write even at that tender age and the choice of topics I was given to dip my pen to did not appeal to me and I challenged her. I asked her why do I have write a story about “My life as a dishrag” or “Why I like being a girl”.. Can’t I write about something more intellectual? It did not go well with her and I had a sense even then that I didn’t quite fit into the norm of things and I was going to have to get used to being the perpetual stranger. I knew that I was just beginning to  develop my redhead attitude and there would be more trouble further on down the road for me.

I’ve wondered many times since then how it would feel to be with someone or stand in the middle of a crowd and there would be no need to translate yourself. The connection, vibrations would be so in tune with each other that you would never have to explain your feelings and your red words were totally understood.

HEART SPASMS
Words flow, meanings change
Encumbrances, frustrations rise
This moment spasms
Tightens into timeless silence
You will miss me after all
Challenging quirky humour
Energized endless atoms
Accumulating and loving your essence.

I would rather be too much than not enough.

Copyright Es-tee Miller