Unpacking the Baggage


One morning I’ll get up and I’ll click delete on Estee’s View, I won’t need it any longer. This has been healing, digging deep into the pages of my soul, delving into who I really am. So many shades of Red…from the womb to the present.

My latest discovery is that I can say farewell to adrenalin. You are truly no longer needed in my life. Years of being too much, proving yourself to someone over and over is the most toxic thing you can do to yourself because it‘s never enough. It takes its toll and it’s hard to fix.

This week gave me closure on another chapter of my life and I found out happily it can be repaired, it’s another part of the healing process. I can still meet the challenge but my heart is no longer there, if it ever was.  I took the “do one thing daily that scares you” to the next dimension! I can face my fears and handle what life throws at me, nothing more to prove there.

I’ve learned that we all have baggage, there is not one of us who have lived a life that doesn’t have something to unpack. I hope I can  learn patience, I’ve never considered it a virtue and yes I’m wired a little differently.

So farewell to these beautiful shores, I have no need to visit you again and I won’t be looking back. You see, I have someone who loves me just the way I am…. I am enough. Well, maybe just a little too much!

When you love someone, that’s what you do…help them unpack!

copyright Es-tee Miller

About redcontroversy

I'm a stargazing,skywatching,storm loving, sungazing addict. Environmentalist, political blogger, professional photographer, writer, artist...my favourite quote is: "If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive". ~ Eleonora Duse ~ ...my soul is definitely alive.
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  1. DEV says:

    Truer words never written!!!! Good post.

  2. CHEF ADRIAN says:

    This one hit me right in the guts! We all have junk and when we reach certain ages it becomes more apparent that we better choose a partner who can handle it or leastways have almost as much junk as you do. LOL These 20 something year olds aren’t cutting it for me Estee.

  3. Julianna says:

    Oh my God, your hitting so close to home these days LOL Keep them coming. I love how you express what I THINK ..

  4. Bob (Bigbear) Patterson says:

    I truly enjoyed your post on “Unpacking the Baggage”!!!!! As you said, we all have baggage and opening that baggage and dealing with what is in it is the secret to happiness in our lives. That old saying “Deal with your past so that it doesn’t ruin your future”, is so important and it has taken me many, many years and the opening of much baggage to learn that. It does take patience and yes you can learn it!!!! I don’t know what is happening in your life, but I am extremely impressed with what I have been reading and I wish you nothing but success as you go through the process of “Opening the Baggage”. Strength to face whatever in life also comes from having someone who loves you just the way your are and that you know in your heart that you are enough. I have a woman like that in my life, my very special lady. Your having someone like that makes me very happy for you.

    Your friend Bob

  5. Karin says:

    This hits a lot of us where it hurts doesn’t it? So many of us can’t move forward because the one were with can’t handle the baggage. It DOES require patience and It requires LOVE looks like your well on your way Es-tee as Bob says and I’m happy for you too. And this writing is soooo soulful. Thank God for honesty. Karin.

  6. BRUNO says:

    Many relationships just sink because one or both do not have the maturity or understanding to proceed.with a new life with each other. It’s hard but most of us these days are trying it on. Es-tee I too am impressed how you’ve written this down. Happiness, peace and love to you. Namaste Bruno

  7. chanel99 says:

    WHOOAAA hitting it out of the ballpark these days is what you are doing girl! AMAZING post, and I agree with all of the above comments! Happy, Happy you’ve come this far! I think Joe is a cool guy for the record!!!! Love Chanel.xxoo

  8. tazzzzzzzzz says:

    You are so awesome Red. We loved having you and you are unequalled in your professionalism, keeping cool (although I just read your poem about the dive and I wonder LOL) You handled it better than most of the guys, very impressive I’ll say. Anytime you want to shake that adrenalin up, your welcome anytime!!!!! We ALL love you..few out there who handle the details so well anymore. Look forward to your article on it.. TAZ MAN

  9. James Bird says:

    Your Ousieau Bleu
    You knew I was in deep thought and thinking about you
    when you came to me from the ocean straight into my soul
    you came to me like a ship without a rudder and lost at sea
    But know it seems, you have found your way and are heading to your last port of call
    And for my self, I will always be right next to you
    your confessor of the deepest dive and how you were scared then and now

  10. NARS says:

    Congrats Red. Guess I’ve just missed you! Well done. Nars

  11. Tony says:

    This is really deep Red. You’ve come a long way baby. this last caper you did was pretty good. Are you sure it’s the last? LOL just kidding.. Tough act to follow.Don’t think I could of done it lol or I would of lost the equip. and Nars would cry. Talk soon.

    • I’ve never seen Nars cry LOL but have seen him stamp his feet when he’s lost a camera .. it’s not a pretty sight. 🙂 … Tony, your work is amazing…keep up the good fight! We are all in this (not going to say mess!!) together.. inspiring people like yourself lead the way for others.. We live on a beautiful planet!

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