This morning I was half awake .. Bordering between here and France in my dreams. I had to shake my head and look around my bedroom and get my bearings.. Where am I? it’s hard to explain to someone that feeling of disconnect and floating around the world in your dreams comes from years of travel and having a suitcase packed and ready to go always by the front door ..whether it be for business or pleasure.
I thought I was over that sense of feeling but obviously not. It was like I had never left or unpacked my suitcase ..this incredible feeling of transport in time. I missed you this morning Domenico terribly. My husband of so many years who described us as citizens of the world laughingly. Where are you I wondered. I hope you are wandering through Thailand with your herd of white elephants behind you as you came to me in my dream shortly after you passed on. What a beautiful thought. Your elegant sleek body with gold chains shimmering around your neck and ethereal ghostly elephants following you adoringly.. It’s kept me going and smiling lovingly these past years in wondrous thought of you.
This magnitude of realization today allowed me to pack my suitcase and sit here broodingly wondering where I shall go. I feel at peace and eager to grab the handle of my suitcase and leave here. It doesn’t really matter where I go as long as this chapter begins.
There shall be no ending anytime soon…my Spring begins.
copyright Es-tee Miller
“I grew wings in my sleep and I’m ready to fly”.. Es-tee